Starting my blog.... full of emotions

I C U , Baylor Hospital Dallas

Well... here it is.

I have had so many emotions over the past year, happy, sad, angry, scared, depressed, lonely, afraid, terrified, loved and so much more... so I thought why not sit and start to write what I went through but also my emotions and my journey.

Maybe others who have gone through this can get comfort, advice, guidance and just a place to talk and see that they are not alone.... like I thought I was so many months!

I am so blessed that God saved my life. I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband who went through so much of this with me, the emotionally roller coaster, the health issues, the kid issues, the not so fun stuff that comes with 2 open heart surgeries...

My Mom and my kids, family and other friends and coworkers who came to help tirelessly, who gave so much and asked for nothing back... I would have never imagined the support I have gotten but yet I would have never doubted it either.

I am so lucky. I am so much a child of God. My story is truly a miracle.

I hope you get something from this blog. I hope you can contribute, help me and maybe help others and yourself.

I will write as much as I can, when I can.... I am back to work and getting very busy with summer here ! Check back often and subscribe to this blog.... pass it around!

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Robert my husband, my caretaker...

He Never ever left my side.. he sat for hours and hours rubbin my head, holding my hand, watching me sleep, cleaning me up, watching me cry, praying with me, helping me stay calm. When I was in pain he was there to help, hours and hours he would sit and pray and just talk to me to calm me. He never once showed his fears to me. He was my rock.

I have never been so loved and felt so safe.
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Wow, I never knew (till I asked) that they take photos durning surgery for teaching purposes!

Courtesy of Dr Hammon, my surgeon at Baylor.
This was me in my surgery...

There are so many things I look back on now, and sit and just cry about at times, looking at these photos makes it all so real again and to know that I had OPEN HEART surgery and made it!! O My Gosh,,, it flips me out... before my surgery I used to think that if I wasnt in control, then I would die, or if I was not in control of a medical situation, my mind would let me die... how wrong was I !

Thats another thing this has taught me, Hello............. Im NOT in control.... God is.. I was dead. My heart was stopped... put on a machine... and then after hours of surgery, started again.. OMG! See, that was not me, that was God! (still freaks me out)

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I will start at the beginning.... which would be about 6 months before my 1st heart surgery..

bare with me.... Its not easy remembering all this, as you read you will see why.. its been hell!

I will write more soon, Im still getting it all together....

Check back often....